4.

My baby is FOUR! 

I have never been so happy to hear that number, because (fingers crossed) maybe that means the #threenager days are coming to an end. People kept saying, "it's not terrible two's, it's terrible three's," and I didn't want to believe it, but your little three year old stubborn and bossy (I like to use the word, determined) way really threw me for a loop. On the flip side, you can also be incredibly sweet and so so caring. You are such a great big brother to your baby sister and to mowgli dog, and that melts my heart on the daily. I keep telling myself, you have to be so "determined" and strong willed if you are going to make it in this world...and River, you are not only going to make it, you are going to move mountains!

 You are so special and oh so smart. You say things that constantly blow me away....like, "how did you even know that?" is what I am constantly asking myself when I am with you. For the times I want to rip my hair out, there are a bazillion more times that I want to scoop you up in my arms, hold you tight, and never let you grow up! I love you more than my whole heart,  and more than all the stars in the sky. 

You are our world (and you know it;)). 

Life Lately According to River....

Favorite color: black, cherry red, and dark blue...and definitely not yellow, "because that is a girl color"
Favorite book: Under The Ocean (and can say it word for word)
Favorite song: Keep it Mello by Marshmello, or Pump it by BEPs
Favorite movie: Moana
Favorite thing to do: play with dad (usually wrestling, biking, or demolition derby cars)
Favorite animal: spiders, and wild things (cheetahs, bears, and hyenas...but not orcas...doesn't like that they are called killer whales;))
Favorite drink: coconut water
Favorite food: chips and salsa
Favorite Superhero: Hulk
Favorite Museum: Dinosaur Museum
Most excited about being a big brother=giving Rumi a bottle, and changing her diaper (but not a poopy one;))
Friends at school: Jake and Jax
If he could live anywhere in the world=Hawaii

My favorite sayings:
He told me in the car he didn't like me and wanted a new mom. I asked him what kind of mom he wanted and he said, "I want a Hawaii mom!"

I left a toy in the other room and he said, "don't leave your toy or a robin is going to take it." (robin=robber)

We were watching conference the other weekend and he heard "Jesus suffered on the cross." Then later River tells us, "hey Jesus didn't suffer from short term memory loss, he suffered on the cross." (referring to dory the fish who "suffers" from short term memory loss.)

When he pretends to sleep he says, "honk-sheee honk-sheee"

"Boys have a penis and girls have a gina"

In his prayer, he asked to bless Jesus and thanked him for dying for us, and also asked to bless the bad guys so they can be happy like Jesus too. Sweetest soul. And yes, I did start crying.

I asked River what he wanted to be/do when he gets big like Papa. I told him he could do anything he wanted or do something that makes him feel happy. We talked about race car drivers and soccer players. Then River thought for a minute and said, "i want to be a professional potato bug-roller-over." i died. haha. *we always flip over so many potato bugs that fall off the curb on their back when we take our dog out in the morning. I guess saving potato bugs makes him feel super happy;) And that's what I love about him. He's the best.

happy birthday river monster.
we love you to infinity and beyond.

xo

birth story

September 14 started out as every other morning...although the husband let me sleep in and gave me a foot massage with clary sage and rose when i woke up. i know, he's the best. well, we got ready and headed up the mountains...like we always do. except this time as i was driving i started noticing some uncomfortable cramping going on. nothing too much to make me think that i was in labor though. we headed up the provo canyon trail. my three year old rode his balance bike and i decided to just walk it out with my dog (usually i rollerblade to keep up with the three year old;)). we got to a spot on the trail where there are old crashed cars on the side of the hill and my little boy really wanted to go down and see them. we slid down the hill and stood on the old cars. but by this time i was feeling a lot more discomfort and when it would come on it was getting harder for me to walk. my little boy was begging me to keep going up the trail, but i immediately got the feeling to go back to the parking lot. i was still in somewhat of denial that i was actually in labor. i listened to my gut though and headed back to the parking lot even though we had only been going for about thirty minutes. both my dog and child were not pumped to be turning around and that made my discomfort even harder to get through. by the time we got back to the car i had to kind of lean over and breathe to relieve some of the pressure. somehow i got everyone in the car and headed back home....but i quickly made a pit stop to the car wash. haha. i don't know why. i was contemplating vacuuming out my car, but then another surge of pressure came on and i decided to call my husband instead and told him we were coming home. good thing. the pressure was coming on more than ten minutes apart so i still wasn't feeling like i was really in labor. by the time we got home my husband met us in the parking lot and told me he had already called our doula and midwife. i was like, "why did you call them so soon?" ha.  i told him that i was going to jump in the shower and see how i feel. it was hard for me to get in a calm state or wrap my head around everything and i just wanted to get in the shower and try and breathe and get more relaxed. well, i got out of the shower and things only seemed to be progressing. i am glad my husband doesn't listen to me, because he had already called my sister to come over and watch our kids (the dog and the child;)).  she was there by the time i got out of the shower and dressed so we headed over to the birth center. so thankful for her! i gave my little boy a big hug and kiss and told him he can come see his baby sister soon. we tried timing my surges in the car ride over. they were about five minutes apart but would come in pairs or piggy back each other. everything was so different than my first experience. much quicker and more intense.

we got to the birth center right as my midwife, Katia pulled in too. we caught her up with everything going on and i was still hesitant to get checked. i knew if i wasn't too far along then i couldn't get in the tub, and thats really where i wanted to be. we decided to go outside and breathe through a couple more surges. my husband said a little prayer too and we went back in and got checked. i was dilated to an 8 and 90% effaced. woohoo. getting checked is such a mental thing for me though, because now that i knew i was at an 8 i knew i was getting closer and things were going to progress pretty quickly. i didn't feel mentally prepared. physically i knew i could do it though. they started the bath and my husband got a diffuser going, turned on my birthing affirmations, and got me a cold coconut water. that helped me get more relaxed and i was able to breathe through the surges so much better. my doula, Meagan, arrived shortly after. they were so great..getting me cold rags, doing lots of counter pressure on my hips, and keeping me hydrated, calm, and positive. we didn't have a doula with my first birth and i am so glad we went ahead and found one because she made such a huge difference in the labor. she was not only there for me, but my husband too. it was really great.

anyway, things definitely picked up and i was getting the urge to start pushing through my breathing. after awhile though my water still hadn't broke. i tried a couple of other positions, but i was starting to really push now. after a few more surges my water finally broke. my husband really wanted to catch our baby girl, but i decided to change positions. my legs were getting tired on my knees. i leaned back against him in the end. then a few more surges and her head came out. it was pretty intense at this point. her little body was kind of stuck (that happened with my first birth too) so the midwife guided me through a few more surges and eventually she had to kind of wiggle/pull her out. the cord was wrapped around her neck and she was a little blue, but they immediately brought her to my chest and she began breathing and crying. it was th most beautiful sound. 4:16 pm. a moment that can not even begin to be described in words. when i was in labor i had no concept of time. things only seemed to be moving pretty rapidly. i was in the tub for about two hours and labored for a little under five hours total. i was just so happy to finally hold my baby girl, and she was here healthy and as beautiful and as strong as ever. my husband cut her cord after it had stopped pulsing and he jumped in the shower. baby girl and i stayed in the tub for awhile longer and just cuddled and breastfed. my husband got her out of the tub and did skin to skin while i rinsed off and then we all got in bed. it was so nice to just be there three of us. the midwives and our doula were so awesome. they were aware of our birth plan and requests, and were so positive and supportive throughout. my husband is my rock and i know i couldn't do any of it without him. he is right there in the action and so supportive, he also gives the best counter pressure...like i should hire him out for birthing women because he is that good;)

my husband had her name picked out clear back when we were thinking of names for our first baby (so whatever beyonce). he names our kids and i am so glad because names are really hard for me. with river, we didn't know what his name would be even after he got here. the husband literally wrote it down as we were leaving the birth center, but with baby girl, we knew her name the second we found out she was a she.

Rumi Rey Campbell

September 14, 2017

 4:16 pm

7 lbs 7 0z

21 inches

we measured and weighed her a couple hours after, and i had to get a few stitches as well...not the best part...it is actually probably the worst part. but after we got all cleaned up my sister brought my little boy over. this was the moment i was anticipating for awhile and i couldn't dream up a better scenario. he came tip toeing in the room and was so excited. he came right over to the bed and sat by us. he kept saying in a sweet voice, "awe she's so tiny." i was holding back the tears. this is heaven. my babies. he held her and my heart pretty much leapt out of my chest. my heart grew and the love for my babies is hard to put into words. i am so extremely grateful. grateful for my babies, my husband, my support team, and just in awe over here of the human body. the whole process of creating a life, growing a life, and birthing a life is so miraculous. i am so grateful for my experience. i will admit i wasn't as mentally prepared as i was for my first birth. it was harder for me to get in a zone and stay relaxed through the end. practice really does make a difference. so does knowledge. i learned even more than i thought i knew the second time around. i am grateful for both of my experiences though.

we finished our night eating ice cream in bed and river opened a present from rumi. a doctor kit (he loves pretending to be a veterinarian or a doctor). he gave us all shots and took our temperature and blood pressure. haha. it was a moment i will hold in my heart forever. then we all headed home. all four of us. i just kept thinking how surreal this all felt as we drove home. mowgli was there waiting to meet his new baby sister. he was so excited. this girl is sure loved by some pretty awesome boys, and i am one happy mama.

we love you baby girl. 

xo

"you are not a drop in the ocean. you are the entire ocean in a drop"  ~Rumi

life lately...(back in november)

This time last year we were just settling into our first Korean apartment. A lot can change in a year. So far we have moved to a new apartment right in Seoul, sold our home in Utah, sold our car (got a new one), and I am currently dancing back with Donny and Marie for a few months, all while the husband is out working in Korea. This year seems like its been a whirlwind, and it also has seemed like we continue to live out of suitcases. hmm. someday i will get our stuff out of storage and we will have a place we can settle in for a few years;) because we all know thats about how long our a.d.d can last and we will have to pack up for some other adventure. honestly though, i am grateful for the learning experiences 2016 has brought, truly i am, because there have been many, but man am i ready to see what 2017 has in store. who's with me? mainly i am putting my foot down, and i am not going to go another year where we only see our husband/papa four months out of the last sixteen. ok. and now for a massive photo dump because then i have some journaling and pictures in another place than my phone, ya know, just in case i lose all my pictures (i.e. christmas 2014 where i have two pictures thanks to instagram). life lately...

***found this post hidden in my drafts***

3.5

That rollercoaster life analogy i am finding out is a real thing. you start going up and feeling great and then everything happens at once and you come speeding back down. or you're smooth sailing and life seems to be going pretty good and then a sharp twist or turn comes and throws you all out of balance. So we are back in utah again. which i am totally happy with because we love the mountains...its just not exactly the place we see ourselves living long-term, and its definitely not where we dream of raising our kiddos. but we are here for the time being. and if we have learned anything at all, it is to make the best of life wherever you are at the moment, because life happens all too quickly and changes at an alarming rate. so who knows where we will be in a year....but the husband still works for doterra, which we love, because i don't think a day goes by without me using one or ten of their products. he will just be traveling a lot more, but our base camp will be in utah for now. looking back at korea, i am really thankful for the experience. it was dang hard, made me grow more than ever, and gave us a ton of fun memories i will hold in my heart forever. we also got to travel and see places i never would have even known about if i didn't live in korea. but now our family is all together (referring to the dog-child) and we have our little girl coming this fall, and i couldn't be happier. life is crazy, but good. crazy good.

with that said, my baby boy is three and a half! What?! i am always so much more shocked when i actually write it out. i keep finding myself looking back at his old baby pictures and videos, and then i might start crying. i am missing his little two year old voice real hard right now. probably because i know once baby girl gets here he is no longer going to be my baby (he will always be my baby, but you get what i mean). so if any of you moms to multiple kiddos have any advice on a smooth transition i am all ears. i am already starting to prepare, because lets face it, this little river monster has had almost four years of his mom's undivided attention and september is going to be a rude awakening;)

currently, river is at such a fun age, and seriously the most challenging. like so challenging the husband and i are seeing a parent/child psychologist to help us figure some stuff out. this kid is smart. too smart for us at times. ha. he is also hilarious, kind, super aware, wild (like i have daily heart attacks when he's cruising down the mountain on his balance bike), sensitive, strong willed, and still such a mama's boy. he loves pretending, mostly with his stuffed animals and race cars. he loves building things and setting up crazy cool contraptions...like all over the house. there is currently a kitty cat house set up in my closet, some cardboard box/tape colored fort house in the living room, and he has about five stuffed animals "guarding" all the rooms at each door...and if i move anything...he knows. it takes all my self control to not let my ocd kick in and clean it all up. he did help his dad build our couch, his bed, a desk, and drill in some shelves. like he legitimately helped. he also can sit and build legos all day if i let him. his imagination is endless. its my favorite part. he can make even the most mundane tasks an adventure with his creative mind. like when grocery shopping we are usually at a construction site and he is the dump truck and i am the excavator. or going to our storage unit we turn into ninjas and go unseen all throughout the halls. or he is usually spiderman most of the day and i love watching his battles as he fights the imaginary bad guys. pure entertainment. he gets a massive energy high right before bed time. is bedtime suppose to take over an hour for one child? sometimes its hilarious, but mostly i am exhausted.  i just don't understand how some one can have so much energy all. day. long. where can i get some of that? please. river just told me his favorite animals are cheetahs, cougars, kitty cats, and hyenas. and his favorite color is still black and also blue, but more of a mint blue. he's my favorite. i don't know how i can love someone so dang much, but also that same some one can make me feel like a crazy person most of the time. mothering this little rivermonster is such a balancing act that most days i am just trying to hold onto the tight rope and not fall off.

i love you river. more than life itself. unconditionally. and forever.

xo

14 weeks

They weren't joking when they told me that I'd show a lot sooner the second time around....I was still dancing on stage every night (in a leotard no less) well over 4 months when I was pregnant with River. But the second I hit 12 weeks I just popped. I am as big as I am now when I was 6 months pregnant the first time. What? If I've learned anything it is to stop comparing to what I know. This pregnancy is totally different. In pretty much every way. And I'm sure that's how it is going to be between raising two different children. This pregnancy I now know what real fatigue is, and being constantly sick...not just in the morning. 24/7 sick. It put me in a serious depressing funk for a few weeks. I could barely function all day. And that doesn't really work out too well when you have a three year old, a dog, and your husband is in a different country. It was a hard first month. But then we got to Korea to join our papa and I felt even more sick. Ugh. See, if I stayed busy all day then the nausea didn't seem so intense. Well, in Korea I don't have my dog to hike and walk everyday and I also have a lot more help (i.e. thank you nanny and a husband), but it made the nausea seem to intensify when I could rest or relax. It's such a catch 22. I am not writing this to say how horrible it is to be pregnant, because I feel the complete opposite. I am even more excited to be pregnant again and I count my blessings everyday that I am even able to grow a little human in me. 

Life is so miraculous.

First of all, I wasn't sure I even wanted to tell anyone I was pregnant because it had taken a long time to get here. The husband and I have been trying for over a year to get pregnant again. And while I always thought I would have all my kids close in age, the reality of it is, they will be almost 4 years apart. I also thought I would be done having all my kids by the age of 30. I pretty much laugh at all of my "plans" now.  Ha.Another lesson I've learned with all of this (and continue to learn) is that it is never my timing, it's His timing. His timing is always perfect, even though at times it is hard not to feel hopeless after so many pregnancy tests come back negative. I really feel for families and moms who experience infertility or have a hard time getting pregnant. It is a rollercoaster of emotions month after month. If I didn't go through it all I don't know if I would feel this much gratitude and humility as I do now. So I am thankful for my trials and what seemed like unanswered prayers, because really I am able to be so much more aware, understanding, and truly feel more grateful because of them.

I can't wait to add another to our little team. I can't wait for river to be an older brother. And I can't wait to love another little baby. My greatest joy really is in being a mother and I can't wait to do it again! September can't come soon enough:)

xo