two and a half.

it's been awhile... but that hasn't stopped my baby from growing up. i now look back at memories and can't even believe how quickly time really does go. where did my chunky thigh, squishy, drooly little baby go!? i hate it. but i also love each new stage this growing up thing is bringing (minus the parts where the extreme temper tantrums have hit, and boy have they hit;)). some days i feel like i am doing everything wrong, but then we get a small victory and it smothers all of those hard moments with an extreme amount of love. there is no way to describe the amount of love i have for you, my baby boy. now let's slow down on this growing up thing ok. sometimes i let my mind go too far forward and get a panic knowing that in just a couple of years you will be going to school and wanting to do other things than be connected at my hip;) it just helps me to realize to enjoy the present more...to enjoy the battles, enjoy the ordinary moments, enjoy holding you even when my arm may break off, and enjoy each new stage with you, because the present is really all we ever have. when i am truly in the present moment with you it is always the best time. it doesn't matter if we are exploring in nature, giving you a bath, painting a picture, having a dance off, or vrooming your cars; if i am truly there with you in that moment it is filled with the most joy. happy two and a half years river zen. 

you continue to be the teacher, and i the student. i never thought i would know so much about tractors, and cars, and monster trucks. i can name any of the monster trucks if you need me to. grave digger is your favorite, zombie doesn't even scare you, you love crashing el torro loco the most, and you still talk about building your very own blue thunder. we were driving with our 'gwama' one day and she said, "look river, a tractor!" you immediately said, " no, it's a giant excavator." i know that nemo is a clown fish, and dory is a blue tang. i can't even start on dinosaurs (partly because i don't want to type out all the names;)). How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight is your favorite book to read before bed...maybe tied with Goodnight Little Pookie. i have now become more of a dictionary because you are constantly asking what do things mean. what does love mean? what does caring mean? what are bones? you are super duper aware and smart, and i think that's partly why you get so frustrated. you are still trying to figure out how to communicate and what things are...and that will always be ongoing. my job is to help you realize those frustrating emotions and how to deal with them best...and that will always be ongoing as well.

 if i ask you how to spell your name, you say as fast as you can "r-i-v-e-r". you get super shy when i ask you to tell people your birthday, but will quietly whisper, "October 18th". your memory sometimes scares me it's so good. you love when i tell you stories. you love scaring papa when he comes home from work. you love to be outside, and will tell me "let's go in nature". and that makes me super happy, because that is where i want to be too;) you are also quite demanding (we are working on asking rather than telling, and to always use our please and thank you's). you are very shy with new people, which makes them believe you are this quiet, subdued little boy, when really you are a wild child. you love running...when you're in the mood, i think you could run ten miles. you jump and climb everything, and love taking (breaking) things apart and "fixing" them. you are all boy, with a lot of wild, but also a lot of sweet. our word we are learning right now is "calm" and how its a feeling that comes from the inside;)

 we love you baby boy! unconditionally. eternally.